How to Create Boundaries and Commit to Them as a Leader
As someone who worked in corporate for more than 13 years, then started a business and now has multiple clients, there’s one area of leadership that’s always been hard for me: the ability to set and uphold boundaries. But whether you are an entrepreneur navigating client relationships or a corporate leader dealing with bosses and colleagues, establishing clear boundaries is essential for our wellbeing and success.
This is one of the topics I love interviewing experts about on The Happy LeadHer podcast. Because even though I know boundaries are important, I’m still learning how to set them. Especially in the first few months of business — because I set some boundaries, but I would break them because all I cared about was making my clients happy. Or the fact that I was so grateful for ANY client I had, I wanted to make sure I kept them.
But in 2024, I’ve made a commitment to myself and my boundaries. If you struggle with this too, I’m sharing some tips that have helped along my “learning boundaries” journey.
Here are 7 ways to set boundaries and tips for sticking to them
Know Your Limits
Before you can set boundaries, you must understand your own limits. What are you comfortable with? What drains your energy? Take the time to reflect on these questions and identify where you need to draw the line. For example, think about your limits when it comes to client communication. This was a tough one for me.
Even when I worked in corporate, I was SO flexible with the hours I was working, when I left the office, when I took client calls… And now that I’m a year into entrepreneurship, I’ve learned that I NEED some strict boundaries. Burnout, anyone? Now, I only take calls M-F 10am to 2pm and Fridays 9am to 12pm (if at all on Fridays). I also don’t give out my phone number to clients anymore. If a client does have my number (because they’re a friend or they needed it), then I don’t text back after the hours above, and ESPECIALLY on the weekends. No thank you. This helps me and the client, because I don’t want to text them after having a couple drinks at happy hour.
Communicate Clearly and Assertively
Boundaries mean nothing if they're not effectively communicated. Be direct and assertive when expressing your limits to clients, colleagues, or superiors. Remember, you're not asking for permission — you're setting expectations. I communicate my boundaries to clients in a few different ways. For one, I don’t tell them they are “boundaries” in the first place. I say, “These are my set working hours.” That way, it doesn’t seem like I’m talking about my trauma (lol) or being too aggressive about it. Sidenote: If they push back, I do mention they are my boundaries.
I communicate my hours and communication “boundaries” in my onboarding materials, on an onboarding call, and in email when needed. And if I start getting texts from clients (who again, are friends or already had my number), then I let them know there too that I don’t respond after my set working hours. I’ve had clients tell me “thank you” for inspiring them to do the same!
Set Realistic Expectations
Something I never considered when it came to setting boundaries was setting realistic expectations — and realistic boundaries in general. A big lesson I learned early on (the hard way) was to not overpromise and underdeliver. This mostly happened because I wasn’t sticking to my boundaries, and then I realized I wasn’t able to deliver what I kept saying “yes” to.
When it comes to setting boundaries, you have to be realistic about what you can and cannot do within a given timeframe. Here’s an example. When I first started my business, I went from zero clients to like five right away. And that was amazing financially, but going from 0 mph to 100 mph, you can’t really ease into it. I definitely recommend setting boundaries from the start so you don’t overdo it without them. And if you’re in corporate, it’s still more than okay to set realistic expectations while also being mindful of your team and boss.
Learn to Say No
This is another tough one. But one of the most powerful words in any language is "no." No matter if you’re a leader in corporate or a business owner, you can’t be afraid to say no when it’s necessary. I never used to say no. And especially when you run a business, I think it’s scary to say no because you want to welcome any and all business.
This past year, I had a discovery call with a client that I knew wasn’t a fit for me. I wanted the income, and I also wanted the challenge that came with the project. I sent their onboarding email, and when I saw their response, I instantly knew I was going to regret saying yes to them. We did eventually get through the project, but they wanted to continue with my services — and that’s when I knew I was being tested. Only this time, and because of the experience we just had, I said no. They were more than understanding, and they still thanked me for my work and wrote me an incredible review. Saying no doesn't make you rude or uncooperative; it simply means you value your time and energy.
Practice Self Care
I always thought that self care meant taking a bath, putting on a face mask, and drinking a glass of wine. But it’s so much more than that. Setting and maintaining boundaries requires self awareness and self care, which means you have to take care of yourself before others. One of the practices I have every day is to go for a long walk. I make time for this first thing in the morning, between meetings, after a stressful call…it’s so important to get some sun. Sometimes I have to take my walking to the treadmill, but I always make time for it.
While thinking through your boundary setting, make time for activities that recharge your batteries — whether it's exercise, meditation, or spending time with loved ones. A well-nourished mind and body are better equipped to uphold boundaries.
Stay Consistent
Consistency is must when it comes to reinforcing boundaries. And I promise, once you start practicing your boundaries, they will become easier to implement in your life and be consistent with. Once you've set a boundary, stick to it consistently. Don't waver or make exceptions unless absolutely necessary. Consistency sends a clear message that your boundaries are non-negotiable. And this is especially important when you have a lot of clients. Some of them will try to cross your boundaries — so stay strong.
Celebrate Your Successes
Celebrate every success, no matter how small. Whether it's successfully turning down a last-minute request or asserting yourself in a meeting, acknowledge and celebrate your progress in setting and sticking to boundaries.
Remember, setting boundaries is not a sign of weakness; it's a demonstration of self-respect and professionalism. By establishing clear boundaries and steadfastly upholding them, you create a healthier, more productive work environment for yourself and those around you. So, stand tall, speak confidently, and let your boundaries be known. You've got this!
For more tips on boundaries and creating a routine, listen to this episode of The Happy LeadHer.
